Blog of the Week: Dear Other Women In The Supermarket

Blog_of_the_week_badgeOur Blog of the Week this week is a heartfelt reaction by one mum to a situation most of us have found ourselves in at some time or other.

Ciara from Ouch My Fanny Hurts (who surely wins best blog title ever!) explains to that woman in the supermarket what the situation really is ….

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Dear Woman-in-the-supermarket,

Let me break this down for you. I am the mother of two small boys. They are aged two and three. Do you know what that means? No, really. Do you KNOW what that means?

That means:

In three years I have not taken a wee on my own.

Most days, I pray for the day when my body will be mine again, and not a malleable comfort blanket to my kids. In fact, most nights, I am grateful for the ten minutes I have before one or both little bodies creep into my bed and sleepily grab my hand or arm or stomach.

I am usually at my wits end by 9am. You see, by that stage, I have lived a whole day. We get up before the birds do, and by 9am I have a day’s work done.

So. You understand, when I am DUMBFOUNDED by your lack of empathy while I am attempting to do our weekly shop. You get it, when I pale as you trundle towards me, shaking your finger at me while telling me to “control that child”. You can’t be that stupid, surely? Do you think I WANT to be crouched in the freezer aisle, beside a two year old who is howling because the toolbox that he insisted on carting with him won’t close properly? The toolbox that is almost as big as he is, and yet, which he insisted upon dragging through ten long aisles to get to here. Do you really think I want to be there? With my three year old sitting beside me, arguing the toss with his brother?

blog supermarket tantrum

Thank you for adding colour to my day. Although I feel like a terrible mother a lot of the time, it’s not usual for it to be thrust upon me, with the vim you displayed this morning. I assume you have no kids, and if you do, live in hope that these stressful moments will be so insignificant in my future that I won’t even remember them.

But I won’t be like you, other woman. Oh no. I hope to leave that judgey side to people like you, who are so brilliant at it. I hope to be able to offer a sympathetic glance, or a rub of the forearm to a woman who is clearly in the weeds, and whisper to her that it will actually be OK. Soonish.

blog supermarket mum

Until then, you will excuse me, as I drag my unkempt self up and down the aisles, offering chocolate treats like the witch out of Hansel & Gretel. I may have a heat rash from the humiliation of it all, but I am getting there. Just trying to get through the day. Just like you. I don’t know what’s going on in your life, and I hope it’s not stress-filled or horrible. But it would be lovely if you could be a little bit nicer to people like me. Because I’m not horrible, or terrible or even mean. I’m just a Mum, who’s finding it hard to get through the day at the moment.

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Have you ever been frowned or tutted at in the supermarket with your kids? Has anyone ever said anything mean to you? Has another mum ever stopped to help or given you a sympathetic an understanding smile as they passed?

If you liked this, then you might find this interesting reading too http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/general-coffeehouse-chat-514/news-current-affairs-topical-discussion-12/1156582-good-mother-would-pick-up-her-crying-baby.html

Posted in Blog of the Week, bloggers, motherhood, Mums | Tagged , , , | 66 Comments

It’s all about poo…when Netmums met McFly

dinosaur that pooped the pastNetmums web editor Tara Champness had a brilliant start to her week when she got to hang out with those lovely McFly boys, Tom Fletcher and Dougie Poynter, promoting their new kids’ book, The Dinosaur That Pooped The Past.

Here she tells us all about her time with the McFly boys.

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I haven’t met too many celebrities in my life, so my heart was pounding as I knocked on the door of a London hotel room to interview McFly boys Tom Fletcher and Dougie Poynter about their new book, The Dinosaur That Pooped The Past.

McFly

I’m greeted by a dinosaur, which helps calm my nerves a bit, after all, that’s quite funny, and, while I’m obviously a little flustered, the boys are absolutely lovely and make me feel at ease right from the beginning.

From the off, Tom admits he’s got the sniffles, ‘It’s annoying having a cold,’ he says, ‘because I just want to kiss and cuddle Buzz, and it’s hard to stay away from him’. Ahhh – we love this doting dad (his From bump to Buzz video was a real hit with Netmums and his wedding song has had more than 14 million hits on YouTube).

Despite the cold, and being a new dad to a 5 month old, Tom looks very well indeed, as does bandmate Dougie. I ask at this point if Tom uses Netmums ­- he nods and says his wife is always going online to look stuff up when it comes to tips and advice.

McFly boys

I’m intrigued about why the guys started writing kids’ books before children were on the horizon for either of them, ­mainly, they tell me, it’s because they’re kids at heart themselves, and of course, writing books is a bit like songwriting.

Tom’s a mad fan of Christmas so that was a key inspiration for the first book, The Dinosaur That Pooped Christmas. He tells me he loves Christmas so much in fact he once had a Christmas­ themed birthday party in July. Dougie says it was a funny night ­- he left the party feeling ‘festive, but also sweaty!’. The dinosaur thing could well have come from Dougie’s love of lizards…he has a green iguana, he calls his ‘baby’. Awwwww.

dinosaur that pooped the past

When it comes to writing the books, the guys will text and email ideas to each other, but then get together to write the final words, and have loads of ideas for pictures by the time they meet with illustrator Garry Parsons.

There’s been plenty of progression in the books too, Dougie’s keen to point out. In the first one, Dinosaur was still a stranger to main character Danny, but by the third installment, he’s living with Danny and Granny. And there are three new cute little ‘Dino dudes’ in the latest one, too.

So what books were the boys into growing up? For Tom, definitely Dr Seuss’s Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham. Dougie liked Dogger about a little boy who loses his favourite cuddly toy dog. We bond over this because it’s my three ­year­ old daughter’s favourite book at the moment, too.

Dougie loved the book 'Dogger' as a child

Dougie loved the book ‘Dogger’ as a child

When I ask if there are any plans for a musical -­ it makes sense, the guys are great musicians and storywriters – ­they seem to think this could be a good plan. How about a theme park? ‘You could have log flumes’; says Dougie cheekily. Poop? Log flumes? Get it? Euuwwww!

What comes across from meeting Tom and Dougie is how really into these books they are, how creative they are, what good friends they are and how open they are.

Tom loves telling me about how the midwives couldn’t quite get their heads around the fact he called his little boy Buzz, and Dougie seems to really like my daughter’s name when I tell him it’s Bodhi -Patrick Swayze’s character in Point Break. He says if he has a boy he’s going to call it ‘Steve’ – because that’s a funny name for a baby. It kind of is.

As for the book itself, I love it. The pictures are cute and really colourful, it’s rhyming and there’s not too much text on each page so it’s perfect for bedtime story material.

And the fact it’s a real labour of love that’s been written by two of the nicest guys you could possibly meet is a bonus.

It deserves to McFly off the shelves…Swoon.

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Win…win…win

We have a signed copy of the new book ‘The Dinosaur that Pooped the Past’ to giveaway and also 5 bundles of all three dino books by the boys to giveaway too. To enter, simply leave a comment, telling us what your favourite book was as a child and from all comments received by midnight on 31st August we will pick out the lucky winners. Usual Netmums terms and conditions apply.

 

 

Posted in Books and reading, Competition, Team Netmums | Tagged , , , , , | 116 Comments

Blog of the Week: Could you be suffering from smallchilditis?

Blog_of_the_week_badgeOur blog of the week this week is from the wonderful Minis and Mum.

It tells us to watch out for a mystery illness that is sweeping across the country. Read the list of symptoms carefully – could you have smallchilditis?

 

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Last week I went to my local GP convinced I was suffering from a particularly nasty bout of the flu or some mystery vital infection. My limbs felt heavy, my head muggy, I had aches and pains all over. A routine examination was conducted and bloods taken. All came back normal. It was left to me to form a diagnosis for myself and this is what I came up with – smallchilditis. This is a condition which afflicts the parents of small children, usually under the age of 4. Symptoms vary wildly according to the children in question but common ones include:

  • A bone aching, psychosis inducing insomnia brought about by a toddler’s inability to distinguish night from day.
  • A dwindling bank account – tiny humans are expensive.
  • The inability to recall simple facts such as your pin code and the surnames of anyone you have ever met.
  • Those simple facts being replaced by the lyrics to songs from Frozen and the theme tune to Peppa Pig.
  • Cravings for junk food to get that quick fix sugar high.
  • Despite your best efforts, the TV assuming the role of unofficial third parent.
  • Every room in the house becoming a dumping ground for innumerable bits of brightly coloured plastic and hundreds of tiny eyes following you wherever you go.
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Eyes, eyes, everywhere..

There is no cure for smallchilditis but over time sufferers can learn to manage the condition and live as normal a life as possible. It’s not all doom and gloom, as certain positive side effects do exist including -

An unlimited amount of cuddles and kisses

Uncontainable giggles

A contented heart and

An uncontrollable urge to do it all again

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Sound familiar?

Posted in Babies, Blog of the Week, bloggers, motherhood, Mums, Toddlers | 2 Comments

Emotional preparation for starting school – Guest post

Penny_Credit[18]Penny Tassoni, President of the Professional Association for Childcare and Early Years, gives us some invaluable tips for preparing your child, emotionally, for that very important first day at big school. 

Netmums also has lots more information on both Starting School and going Back to School on our main site. 

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Imagine the scene. It’s the first day of the school year. There are older children running in, with their nonchalant parents waving them off. And then there are the newbies. These are the parents who are worrying about whether their child will make friends, get to the toilet on time and settle in well. For most parents at this time, education and learning are a long way down their list of priorities. They just want to make sure that their child will emerge at the end of the day with a smile on their face. So what are the do’s and don’ts of helping your child to start school?

starting school line up

Staying positive

Children’s attitudes and anxieties can be influenced by their parents. Being positive about the transition is therefore important – although avoid going into hyper mode in case their first day does not live up to expectations. Find something that your child really likes about school (the climbing frame, the home corner, the Lego toys) as they will be useful motivators on those inevitable days when you are met with ‘I don’t want to go to school today’.

start school

Talk matters

Whilst a child does not need to be constantly bombarded by talk of school, do try and have a couple of conversations with your child. You could for example, walk or drive past the school as a way of starting out on this. Listen out for any concerns that your child has and take them seriously. You might also ask your child to think through what they might do in certain situations such as if they could not find a friend to play with or if they could not find their coat.

Independence

Help your child to become as independent as possible before starting school. Self-care skills such as putting on coats, shoes and using the toilet all help build confidence. Try also giving your child a little more responsibility such as taking the washing from the machine or putting items onto the conveyor at the supermarket. The aim is to make them develop a ‘can do’ attitude.

First day of school

Making friends and settling in

Making friends will be important to help your child settle in successfully. If you can, try and find out others who are starting in the same school and get together over the holiday period. On the first day – you might want to all walk to school together to help settle nerves (for you, as well as your child!). After all, there is strength in numbers!

start school friends

Some children settle in easily when they start school, others may take longer. Your child’s teacher will be focused on helping all the children to settle in, so do talk to them about any concerns you have. Clinging to you in the mornings is natural, and it can feel a real wrench to leave them when they are upset – but you can bet that as soon as you’ve left the room, they’ll be happily making new friends. Other children can settle in quickly at first, but then have a delayed reaction a few weeks into the school term when they realise that their new school experience isn’t just for a few weeks. Keep talking to your child about their feelings about school – and catch up with the teacher regularly (after school is usually preferable to the hectic time of drop-off) to help your child settle in happily at school.

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PACEY_logo[24]Penny Tassoni is an early years education consultant, author and trainer. She is also president of PACEY, the Professional Association for Childcare and Early Years. Further information and support to help you prepare for starting school, and other aspects of childcare and early years, is available at http://www.pacey.org.uk

 

 

 

 

Posted in Back to school, School | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Blog of the Week: The Camping Pods of Despair

Blog_of_the_week_badgePlanning on going camping during the holidays? You better read this first…

Whilst we’re sure that you won’t have an experience quite as bad as Raising Edgar’s, we bet there are other stories along these lines from first time camping families.

Have you got one to share?

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Camping is quite the delight with a one and a half year old.

We imagined the twinkling sunlight that scattered itself between the trees, creating an almost surreal fairyland in which Edgar would forage in the woods, only to return to show off the spoils of his adventures and then he’d be off again to explore some more.

We would just sit and drink tea and smile and wonder why we never thought of it before.

camp couple

Image: Netmums

It would be bliss.

Night 1.

We get him in bed for 7pm as per our amazing unbreakable routine.

All you happy-go-lucky parents that throw caution to the wind and stretch them out until 7.05pm if the needs suit are completely bonkers.

Routine is everything.

Crying ensues.

Me:

It’s because he’s in a new environment

Wife:

Yes

10 minutes later

Wife:

I hate it

Me:

I know, me too

5 minutes later

Wife:

Perhaps he just needs to know we’re here?

Me:

I don’t mind if you want to go in and sit with him

Wife:

It only makes it worse though doesn’t it?

Me:

Yes

4 minutes and 18 seconds later

Silence

Me:

God I love him don’t you?

Wife:

Yes, what a trooper.

35 seconds later

camp storm

LOUD THUNDER

We cringe in silence and stare at each other.

Nothing.

LOUD THUNDER

More cringing.

More nothing.

TORRENTIAL RAIN

Me:

(whisper shouting) Oh f*ck you God

Wife:

Shhh

So despite Edgar’s incredible ability to stay asleep through the whole thing, the majority of the night was spent praying for respite that never came, expecting terrified screams to ensue at any moment, sat outside in a one metre bit of shelter.

Without any doubt the best night of the holiday.

Night 2.

We get him in bed for 7.01pm.

What the hell it’s a holiday.

Edgar goes instantly to sleep.

After a satisfying round of rummy, with a glass (bottle) of red, we smugly go to bed at around 10.30pm.

camp wellies

Image: Netmums

Just before midnight we hear a noise.

Sounds like someone has poured half a tin of soup into Edgar’s cot.

There it is again.

At the same moment, in a perfect daze of confusion and horror, we realise he is being sick.

I jump up and pick him up.

He voms down my back.

Me:

Oh god

Wife:

Oh god

An instant argument ensues where we are both shout whispering at each about what the f*ck we are supposed to do.

I think shout whispering must make you look more angry than you are as you try and act out being cross because the volume of your voice isn’t sufficient.

Wife:

Stop being aggressive

Me:

I’m not being aggressive! (I say aggressively)

Only in the second dictionary definition do I accept the word:

“2. Making an all out effort to win or succeed; competitive”

Looking back I shouldn’t have taken offence, as I’m sure that’s what she meant.

Edgar is still puking down my back by the way, in case you wondered.

Me:

Look, I have puke in my beard. What more do you want?

Wife laughs and then returns to hating me.

Shortly she will be cleaning sick off the mattress with her nails, so it balances out nicely.

I think a highlight was when the wife had run to the shower block to wash sick off various items and I had to pee in a pot whilst holding Edgar (puking down my back), with my head bent towards the window so that the smell didn’t cause me to vomit.

Edgar was drained (literally) and following this he would only be on me.

So I was up with him all night, cradling him against my chest so he could get some sleep, which I was happy (sort of) to do, because he was obviously the one having the worst time of all.

Image: Netmums

Image: Netmums

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Find tips for happy camping over on Netmums

Tips on camping with kids

We’d love to hear your stories of camping disasters too – post your comments below!

Or share your top tips for a family camping trip

Posted in Blog of the Week, bloggers, camping, Holidays, Summer, Summer Holidays | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Guest Post: How to Re-invent Yourself After Having Children

Today’s guest blog is from Sophie Cornish. Sophie is the co-founder of sophie cornishNotonthehighstreet.com. Following a successful career in journalism and two children, Sophie teamed up with her friend Holly Tucker when she had just turned 40 to bring their kitchen table idea to life and so, notonthehighstreet.com was born. Eight years later they run a multi-million pound company that champions over 5,000 craft and creative businesses offering them a route to reach customers all around the county via their alternative online marketplace. Many of these companies are run by women like them who started their own business after having children and Sophie feels passionately about encouraging mums that it is never too late to reinvent yourself professionally. Here, and in her new book, she gives her advice about how to go about this. We also have ten copies of the book to giveaway. To enter, simply leave a comment on this blog post.

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Mother of invention

Here’s a good business tip: take a bowl of mashed banana (half of it on the floor), a filthy, food-encrusted high chair, then combine that with some acute sleep deprivation and use it to unearth new levels of your own ambition and creativity.

Truly. It stands to reason.

Sitting opposite my six month old daughter Honor – 15 years ago now – patiently feeding her the same way I had done several times a day for the last month, isn’t the place I’d most expected to feel a sudden flourish of drive and fresh ideas, yet I discovered that it’s a sure fire way to catch yourself looking reality in the eye. While I loved those moments, and treasure them even now – every bit as much as the glittery awards ceremonies and international business travel of my career – the sheer repetitiveness of the task somehow left my mind (sleep starved though it was) wide open to new ways of thinking about my career, my future (our future) and my ambitions.

sophie cornish

Whilst a sudden rush of artistic flair may not jump straight out at you in these moments, that new dependent tiny person certainly brings a scary feeling of responsibility. You are now the provider, and will be, for a long time. So, in my world at least, that meant I needed to look lively, and get on with the ideas and dreams I’d been nurturing for quite some time. I took that feeling and had it drive me to be personally and financially ambitious. Necessity literally became the mother of invention.

And it wasn’t hard to do. When you get away from a very corporate environment, or even just an office environment, for a few months, a whole load of new thoughts and ideas start to flow. However much the compelling practicalities of mothering draw on your time and your headspace, I’d urge you to nurture those little ideas, write down your thoughts and completely re-observe the world from your new, less structured, perspective.

I would utilise any of those moments, when my hands were busy but my mind free, to contemplate how I would achieve what I wanted or needed to and what could lie ahead for me. If you do one thing, allow yourself to think, to spot those little problems in life and time to feel excited that someone has to solve them, so it might as well be you!

In our newly released second book ‘Shape Up Your Business’, we include a quote from Lily Tomlin which still resonates with me and takes me back to those days post-babies and pre-notonthehighstreet.com.:

I said somebody should do something about that, then I realised I am somebody.”

Neither of my children slept well in their beds, day or night, so when I was on maternity leave I used to put them in the pram, walk to the park till they fell asleep then sit down urgently at the nearest bench, pull out my notebook and start writing. Anything. Ideas for a novel, ideas for a business, sums and calculations about what a business would need to turn over or what I’d need to earn if I was to give my family the life I wanted for them. Or I’d just shape my thoughts on what seemed to be current, interesting, or relevant themes of the moment. Things that needed addressing. Issues that needed solving.

Shape Up Your Business - Jacket Image

These notes were vital in keeping my focus, my passions and ambitions at the fore and vague or impulsive as they seemed at the time, I think that allowing myself time to observe and think played a very significant role in my achieving the ambitions that I harboured then.

Being a new mum and having time away from the office can be a scary prospect, especially after you’ve worked hard to achieve and make headway up that slippery career ladder. My fear was that maternity leave would see me lose touch or be forgotten – not great for self-confidence. I became obsessed with staying switched on – I even began reading the Financial Times, never done before or since! I don’t know if I recommend that, but ’Shape Up Your Business’ includes a chapter dedicated to identifying and tapping into your own personal brand of confidence – that, I do know, is crucial: in my experience if you believe you can, you most certainly will.

I did find my own fresh new brand of confidence. I loved the ‘grown-upness’ of being a mother. I felt and channelled a new level of self-assuredness – it was as if the responsibility did something to my chemistry, and the big stuff didn’t seem so big any more. I quickly learned to embrace that, both before and after I went back to work, and do things that I once might have feared. First that meant going for a promotion, taking on a big project, and later, learning new skills, and starting my own businesses.

And now to the real trick: how do you find the time, and the energy beyond those night feeds and early morning wake up calls? Easily. You will know by now that you actually are superwoman. When you know what a staggering amount you can achieve on zero sleep, with zero time to yourself, and your hands permanently tied behind your back (well, to a baby), you also know – as I did – that when the day comes that you are once again behind your desk, alone, with your hands free and your brain clear… you will be able to achieve just about anything.

Shape Up Your Business by Sophie Cornish and Holly Tucker is available to buy now on Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shape-Up-Your-Business-Notonthehighstreet-com/dp/1471102149

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Win…win…win

We have ten copies of ‘Shape up your Business’ to give away. To enter simply leave comment below and from all comments received by midnight on 31st August, we will pick out ten lucky winners. Usual Netmums terms and conditions apply.

Posted in Books and reading, Business, Mums in business, Woman - the woman behind the mum | Tagged , , | 34 Comments

Blog of the Week: My Dirty ‘Mummy’ Secrets

Blog_of_the_week_badgeThis week’s Blog of the Week is a little gem of honesty. If you have ever put your pyjamas on at 3pm, or call checking in on Facebook ‘Mummy’s Work’, then you’ll want to read this post!

Here are Brummy Mummy of Two‘s Dirty Mummy Secrets – so come on – what are yours?!

 

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Since I’ve become a parent there are a host of things that I have done that I am super proud of. I love my children, I take care of them quite well I think, and 95% of the time I am in charge of them we have a grand old time. But? There is that 5% that I have not been proud off. In fact? I’m downright embarrassed with myself. So I thought I would come clean. Offer other Mothers in similar shameful circumstances someone they can relate to. Reveal all my dirty ‘Mummy’ secrets.

There is however, a disclaimer to this list. We need to agree on something. A few of the things I do genuinely only do ‘sometimes’. But some of the things (more than is reasonable) I have written ‘sometimes’ when I mean ‘most of the time’. Such is my shame. I can’t admit which ones. Thought you could just try and figure it our for yourselves. So, gulp, here goes…

  • Sometimes I clean the bathroom sink. With a baby wipe.
  • Sometimes I clean the kitchen table. With a baby wipe.
  • Sometimes I clean my privates. With a baby wipe. (This is a sometimes one – promise! It is! IT IS!)

  • Sometimes I hide in the kitchen and eat all the treats from the special children treat box.
  • Sometimes I lie on the couch and watch an episode of The Darling Buds of May whilst my children happily and quietly pull out every DVD I own.
  • Sometimes I pretend I can’t hear the children wake up in the night so my husband has to get up.
  • Sometimes when the baby poos late afternoon. I wait till his Dad gets home and then exclaim “Oh no he’s pooed again! He always does that when you walk through the door”.
  • Sometimes I say I need to go to the toilet just to get some peace and quiet for two minutes.
  • Sometimes I just “yes” when my toddler talks and I didn’t quite hear what she was saying (aka wasn’t listening). Or “that’s nice”.
  • Sometimes I pretend that Peppa has ‘ran away’ as I can’t face watching her again on television.
  • Sometimes I put my pyjamas on at 3pm. OK, OK. 1pm. OK, OK I don’t get dressed.
  • Sometimes I wear extra long leggings so I don’t have to shave my legs.
  • Sometimes I put on extra dry shampoo so the white covers my roots.
  • Sometimes I pretend the kids were begging for a Happy Meal. When in reality? I desperately wanted one. With a full fat coke. And a McFlurry. Obv.
  • Sometimes I have Calpol rather than painkillers as it tastes dead nice.
  • Sometimes I used to eat rusks when I had ran out of biscuits.
  • Sometimes I eat the cold remains of waffles that ‘may’ have dropped on the floor.
  • Sometimes I hide my head in the fridge and eat cake whilst my children eat fruit in the living room.
  • Sometimes, when discovered, I pretend this cake is ‘Mummy’s medicine’.
  • Sometimes I pretend that me sitting on twitter/facebook/asos is ‘Mummy’s work’.
I’m stopping there. This list could go on and on and on. So now you know the odd time I clean me bits with a baby wipe and that I generally can be found in my pyjamas or super long leggings. But in the grand scheme of things? It’s not that bad. Is it? (shoves head in fridge and consumes pack of ‘treat’ Smarties in one gulp).
Posted in Blog of the Week, Humour, motherhood, Mums | 21 Comments