Team Netmums: Soak up the rays

Posted on May 25, 2012 by

The sun – it’s here at last.  Hasn’t it been brilliant?

And like the rest of the nation Team Netmums have hit the week with our sunnies on, smiles on our faces, skipping to school with our kids in their seldom worn summer dresses and shorts.  Sandals have been dug out and toenails brightly painted.

Cue after-school opportunities to play in the park or hang out with friends on the grass with ice-pops to cool down whilst soaking up the late afternoon rays.  Little ones have been out in the garden with paddling pools and teddy bear tea parties.  Older ones have had the water pistols out.  Cue shrieks of ‘Oy – don’t soak me – I’m reading a very important book for Netmums’ (whilst we make sure our Fifty Shades novels don’t get splashed! Ahem).

Then home to tea and our other halves insisting on donning a pinny and taking control of barbecuing meat for tea (it involves fire – therefore it’s a man thing apparantly).  Except in Cathy’s garden as they opened up the barbie to find a bird’s nest and a ton of spiders had taken up residence there which quickly put them off their burgers and bangers.

The team had to hurriedly rearrange this week’s Netmums food newsletter to include bbq and picnic recipes as the surprise heatwave appeared.

If you read last week’s Team Netmums blog you will probably know that most of us have taken the time to make sure our winter leg and underarm foliage is under control…but then there is the issue of whether milk bottle blue tinged pale skin would frighten small children on the school run and whether we should reach for the fake tan or wait until the sun give us a natural golden glow.  It is so much easier in winter when you can hide any multitude of sins under layer of clothing.

If Siobhan asks – this was an important meeting

Team Netmums appreciate how lucky we are to have a job working from home but when it is this sunny it’s tempting to set up office outside.  It’s nigh on impossible to work properly in the garden though and believe me this week we have all tried.  We’ve tried making elaborate structures to provide shade for our laptop screens whilst we can still be in the sun.  One of the Team even found herself half sitting in a cardboard box at one point before giving up and heading back reluctantly indoors.

Roll on the weekend when the sun promises to do its very best to keep on shining and we can all head for the beach/garden/park with our sunnies on. If you’re firing up the bbq or heading off on a picnic check out some of our fab recipes and you’ll find tons of great recipes on the Netmums Parent Bloggers Network too. What are you doing this weekend?

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Posted in Home, Summer, Team Netmums, Woman - the woman behind the mum | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Blog of the Week – Mental Health Awareness Week

Posted on May 23, 2012 by

Today’s Blog of the week features new blogger Diary of a First Time Mum. All this week she is highlighting Mental Health Awareness Week and her ‘Day 1′ post really brought home to us how doing something good not only helps others but also helps us feel better too.

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Mental Health Awareness Week runs from Monday 21st to Sunday 27th May 2012 and this year the focus is:

‘Doing good does you good’. Quite simply, doing something good and helping others is good for your mental health. This is aimed at those with mental health problems and those who want to help those with mental health problems; not only can doing something good help you out, but it might just cheer somebody else up and make their day. Approximately 1 in 3 people suffer from depression and by paying someone a compliment, offering to help them in some way or even just a friendly smile or a hello could go a long way to helping someone feel better about themselves.

I aim to spend some time this week doing something good. I’m giving myself the responsibility of doing something each day this week which is good for me and good for somebody else.

So to start things off this week I actually did TWO good things!

I know, go me!

The first thing I did was to make a donation to the mental health charity ‘Mind’. Two years ago I raised money for Mind by doing the Great Manchester Run but didn’t get to do it this year with having the baby.

The second thing I did was to stop and chat with a very friendly old man outside the supermarket. I’d been walking round town with the baby for a while thinking of good things to do when I spotted this little old man with his walking stick and his glasses taped together. He was smiling at the baby and waving at her as little old men do. So I went over, said hello, we had a bit of a chat about the baby and he told me that he is a granddad of 8 and a great-grandad of 3 including twin boys born just before Christmas. He told me how he and his wife had 6 sons but that she had died a few years ago and he missed her terribly. It made him happy to spend time with his family and he loves babies, he always wanted a baby girl but got 3 granddaughters instead. My little one was smiling and chuckling and blowing bubbles as babies do so she pretty much did all the work for me. We only chatted for 10 minutes or so but after we said goodbye I really felt like I’d done something good.

I challenge you all to do the same. Spend some time this week doing something nice for somebody. It will make you feel better about yourself and will make somebody else feel better too. Enjoy your week!

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Earlier this year Netmums launched it’s United Kindmums Campaign which calls on all of us to carry out small random acts of kindness to each other. Paying it forward and appreciating the simple things in life really can make a difference not just to others but to ourselves too. To find out more go to our dedicated United Kindmums page on Netmums.

Posted in Blog of the Week, depression, united kindmums | Tagged | 2 Comments

Savvy second hand queens

Posted on May 21, 2012 by

Last week it was ‘Choose Charity Shops’ week and Netmums has been buzzing with discussions about how much we do or don’t like bargain hunting and buying ‘pre-loved’ clothes, toys and gifts. 

So many admitted they loved nothing more than finding a bargain and giving a new home to a nearly new item.  Elizabeth who blogs at Me and My Shadow, writes about how she loves to buy second hand and champions the Netmums nearly new.

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I love to buy second-hand items.  Not only will you get a bargain compared to the cost of new, but you’ll be doing your bit for the planet too.  By re-using an item that a person no longer wants, you are saving the item from land-fill and saving the energy and raw materials to make the item new.

I also love the unique look and vintage style you can achieve by purchasing pre-loved clothes, household items and furniture.  Most of my home is decorated and furnished (rather stylishly I like to think!) with second-hand finds.

But as the cost of postage and petrol rockets ever upwards, even the thriftiest pre-loved lover is getting more savvy.  If you’re looking for alternatives to high delivery costs on online auction items or shelling out for petrol to drive out to car boot sales at the weekend, then here are a few ideas to try.

Netmums
Have you registered for your local Netmums area?  Check out the ‘Free’ and ‘Nearly New’ sections and browse loads of items nearby.  It’s not just children’s clothes and buggies – you might be surprised what you find.  The local boards are also a great way of passing on items you no longer need.  With no selling fees it’s a cost effective way of reaching local buyers.  Or you could offer them for free or check out the ‘Wanted’ posts to see if you have something you can pass on.   Remember the old adage ‘Tis far better to give than receive’!

Back to basics
In this digital age it’s all too easy to forget the old fashioned methods of bargain hunting.  You can still pick up great quality second-hand items locally by checking postcards in newsagents and post offices windows; your local newspaper’s classified section and many supermarkets/schools/churches/village halls also have community noticeboards where you’ll find items for sale.

So, whether you’re browsing online from the comfort of home, or trawling the notices in a shop window, it sure beats paying whopping postage charges, and with the bonus that you’ll be able to pop down the road to collect your goodies, you won’t be forking out on petrol either.

I host a weekly link-up over on my blog called ‘Magpie Monday’ so if you’re looking for inspiration, or have a second-hand treasure you want to show off, then please do pop over and say hi.

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Right now as part of our United Kindmums campaign we are calling on mums to give to others with the Netmusm nearly new.  Why not have a good spring clean and de-clutter the house and post up your unwanted items on your local Netmums Nearly New board?  Or check the ‘Wanted’ section and see if you have an item that someone else is looking for and rest content in the knowledge it will get a new home?  Or browse your local Nearly New board and grab a bargain or two.  Let us know about any great finds.

Posted in Charity, Home, Netmums, united kindmums | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Team Netmums – The Hair Bare Bunch?

Posted on May 18, 2012 by

A thread Unshaven body hair. Would you dare to bare? about body hair got us talking this week, sparked by the appearance of a young woman called Emer O’Toole, who lifted her arms on This Morning and proudly showed the world her (extremely) hairy pits. Cue  a wide range of comments from Netmums members – many of whom thought it was disgusting, others who thought it was entirely up to her, but not for them, and some (though not so many) who said they were happy to be hairy, too. Only one fella commented – a member called David who posted, reassuringly: ‘I never worry about whether a woman shaves or not. The more body hair, the warmer we’ll both be.’

Although not your average staffroom conversation piece, it did prompt some interesting admissions from Team Netmums about how we feel about our body hair and what we do with it. Most of us, it seems, do quite a bit of waxing, plucking, epilating and depilating. And most of us begrudge it.

Hollie described herself as dreadfully hairy, and confessed that – despite being a fully paid up feminist – she is constantly, obsessively trying to remove the excess. She claims to have tried every method of hair removal going over the years – and has even forked out a fortune for laser treatment in a bid to tame her ‘wild’ bikini line. Jill says she always shaves her pits, if only because it makes them smell less, occasionally tackles her bikini line, and, when pushed, will pluck her eyebrows – although she reckons it’s almost as painful as her three C-sections. As for Donna, well she’s glad of the extra covering in the winter months, but prefers to whistle it all away when her body’s on show in the summer – usually with a razor, although in the run up to a holiday, she will submit to the torture of the epilator. (She adds that she can’t wait until the day when she doesn’t have to care anymore – although she’s not saying when that’s likely to be.)

Facial hair is another bugbear. Mandy was most upset to discover her first chin hair after turning 40 (although Hollie pointed out that she’s fortunate to just have the one), and Lynn tentatively raised the subject of her ‘tache, and the many hours she spends trying to remain whisker-free.

And what of the modern trend for removing all, or virtually all, the foliage in one’s ladygarden?  Perhaps understandably, most of the team were keeping schtum about what they’ve got growing down below and what they choose to do with it, but some were upfront  – including Jo, who pleaded a fear of pain in the region and claims she’s sticking with her ‘seventies-style bush’,  and Laura, who pointed out that, since she had a full complement of pubes when she met her OH 20 years ago, she sees no point in getting rid of them now.

On a more sober note, some of us with daughters feel distinctly uncomfortable about them growing up in a culture where zero body hair is the new norm. It seems the pressure we all feel to rid ourselves of something that’s entirely natural is ever increasing.
Maybe we should say sod it, and throw away our razors, tweezers, wax strips, and Epiladies. Maybe Emer’s got a point.

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If you want to de-fuzz and are bemused by the array of options read our handy Netmums guide to hair removal and our page of top tips to make home hair removal a breeze.

Posted in Netmums, Style and beauty, Team Netmums, Woman - the woman behind the mum | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Blog of the Week – The Schoolyard Queen and other friendship tales

Posted on May 16, 2012 by

We think this post from Looking for Blue Sky about school yard tales from a mum’s perspective will ring some bells with lots of you – it certainly did for us!

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You’ve met her.  She is always there a little early.  Not desperately early, not one of the mums that parks up half an hour before school finishing time to get a good spot.  Often she walks to schoool.  It’s healthier you see.  She looks good, but not as though she’s made too much effort.  No lycra or labels or lipstick, or perhaps that’s just the schools that my kids attended.  The Schoolyard Queen has presence and is warm and friendly.  As she strolls into the yard, smiling, heads and feet turn in her direction.  Quickly a group gathers round her to exchange the news of the day.  Her kids are well-behaved, independent and studious.  I am in awe and envy.

I was the Cinderella of the school yard.  Untidy and awkward, but always armoured with black eye liner.  Sometimes I had Smiley as a prop and she was soooo cute back then, and Angel’s friends would always pop over to say hello.  I would chat to their Mums, but I didn’t make any lasting friends that way.  And by the time she was ten, Angel would just wave goodbye at the door and head off with her pals.

In different school yards I’ve played the role of career mum – late, heel-teetering, briefcase and umbrella clutching – sporty mum – in runners and lycra – ageing rock chick mum – black, silver, attitude – and unpopular mum at my son’s school once his behaviour got out of control – hoodie, headphones.

There were more characters too, but perhaps I should let them describe themselves.  Or maybe you can help me?

My school-yard skulking days ended two years ago, and despite the downside, I do miss them.  Now two younger children are in special needs education and are collected by bus.  I miss walking to school with my son and the chats we had, even the Pokemon monologues.  I miss the news and gossip and rumours – often just as useful – about the school and the staff, children and parents – though in his final year in mainstream, I’d say that aspie boy and I were often the topic of the day.  No more meetings with teacher by chance or design, and especially at my son’s school, I feel I barely know them or what goes on once he disappears through the doors.

Now I lurk in the virtual schoolyard of Facebook and Twitter, which also has a huge cast of characters, but mostly on my side.  If not, I just block them, something that’s harder to do in the real world.  So I get to discuss all the big schooling questions on-line and at the Rainbow Junior Arch Club.  Many of the people I have met on-line have become real life friends and some of the special needs mums I met through the Club are now friends on-line.  That’s the way it goes, and it is so much better than the isolation that special needs mums must have endured in days gone by.

Unlike many parents of children with special needs, I have not lost friends as a result of the different life that I now lead, apart from the natural wasting away that happens to some relationships that have run their course.   Some friends I have known since childhood, some for the twenty years that I have lived in Dublin.  They are all still part of my life and a great way to escape special needs for a while.

So I am very lucky with my friends.  But I wonder how others get on in the schoolyard now.  Once again I live just down the road from Angel’s primary school.  And every day I watch the parking spaces fill, the traffic wardens suddenly materialise, and anxious mums and dads with toddlers and buggies head up and down the hill to collect their kids. Do they enjoy the experience?

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The topic of the school playground and what it feels like to be there as a mum is one that crops up time and time again on Netmums.  There was a thread last week asking mums whether they were a friendly school gate mum or whether they felt awkward and lonely on the school run.  Is your nursery or school playground a welcoming haven or is it dominated by cliques? 

Posted in Blog of the Week, School | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Bloggers Unite for Madeleine McCann

Posted on May 14, 2012 by

Do you remember where you were when you first heard the news of Madeleine McCann’s disappearance five years ago? Did you watch all those news reports and pull your own child a little closer?

As Mums we all felt for Madeleine’s mother because this was every mothers worst nightmare. And it’s a nightmare that continues to haunt Kate McCann.

Madeleine is still missing. No answers have yet been found.

There has been a lot of talk since that day about why Madeleine is more important that all the other missing children out there. She isn’t. But that does not make finding her any less important. By raising awareness of Madeleine’s case the failings in the systems across the globe for all missing children have been, and continue to be, improved.

Saturday was Madeleine’s 9th Birthday.

Saturday also saw the launch of a worldwide social media and internet campaign entitled #Blogging4Madeleine which wants to highlight this age progressed image commissioned by the Metropolitan Police. It is a guide as to what Madeleine may look like now, aged 9:

Madeleine went missing on holiday in Praia da Luz, Portugal on Thursday 3rd May 2007.

Contact information to report any sightings or information:

Operation Grange

0207 321 9251 (in the UK)

+44 207 321 9251 (non-UK)

Or Operation.Grange@met.pnn.police.uk

OR Crimestoppers in confidence on 0800 555111 or www.crimestoppers-uk.org

All this information is available from www.findmadeleine.com

 

Posted in activism | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Team Netmums Blog – Pesky Pregnancy Hormones

Posted on May 11, 2012 by

One of the threads we loved reading in the Netmums coffeehouse this week was this one where mums shared all the things that had reduced them to a blubbering wreck whilst they were pregnant. Team Netmums nodded in recognition as we read some of the corkers that had reduced our members to tears including:

  • I cried the other day because someone had finished my Nutella and hadn’t told me!
  • I cried in the park when my husband pointed out a duck that only had one foot.
  • This week I have cried at Auntie Mable when Pippin got left at the building site.
  • I cried because the neighbours next door got post and I didn’t, I thought the postman didn’t like me anymore.
  • Every time the Muller advert came on with the cow running along the beach I would cry my eyes out.
  • I  stood on a snail and was devastated. Cried for hours.

Hormones – pesky things at the best of times but when you are pregnant they can easily take over and tip even the most calm and level headed woman over the edge.  Never ones to shy away from admitting our flaws (and some of these anecdotes do make us seem a little unhinged!) we thought we would share with you some of the things that brought Team Netmums to tears when we were pregnant.

Some of the tales we shared showed that we were all just a bit more sensitive than usual and unable to shrug things off as we might have done normally.  Comments about looking tired or fat (not unkind ones just casual jibes or observations) or gentle teasing were all taken to heart and brought on the tears.  Other confessions showed just how much the smaller and irrational things made us act completely out of character and made us cringe even in the re-telling.

Our favourite tale from the Team was Julie and her sock drama. Quite out of character she had taken it upon herself to lay out her husband’s clothes for a night out.  He got dressed and all was well until…  Julie noticed he hadn’t put on the socks she had laid out for him.!!  She gnashed her teeth and wailed like a dramatic heroine from a bad romance and accused him of not loving her anymore as he had shunned her choice of footwear.  The poor man didn’t quite know what had hit him. We expect he chose his socks extremely carefully throughout the rest of the pregnancy.

It’s often the little things that seem so irrational that can floor us when flooded with pregnancy hormones and tiredness.  Nic once broke down because there was a bag of oranges in the hallway and the mere sight of citrus fruit made her feel sick.  Caroline was moved to tears by reading The Velveteen Rabbit as a bedtime story to her elder children and more than one of us have admitted to crumbling into racking sobs because of a moving film or even a loo roll advert!  Donna admitted that she even cried during Cars 2…..(that well known tear jerker!)

And when we were stumped by a task then there was really no hope.  There were tears over trying to assemble buggy boards and Cathy became a jibbering wreck trying to assemble flat pack nursery furniture.  She admits she has never sobbed so loudly and so much in her life and the whole experience has left her with a lifelong aversion to Ikea.

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What reduced you to tears during pregnancy? We would love to hear your stories (if only to prove to ourselves that we are normal!)

Posted in Mums, Pregnancy, Real Parenting, Team Netmums | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments