Netmums Blog

Today’s guest blog is from Ruth Briddon who has just published a new novel ‘Being Sarah Chilton’. It has been described as:  If ‘Bridget Jones’ had a child and then was left on her tod, this book is what would happen next! A guide for all Mums when the sh*t hits the fan.’ Here Ruth tells her story of how she became a mum, the problems she faced and how this lead her to write a book with a heroine that will resonate with so many mums. We have ten copies of the book to give away. Simply leave a comment below to enter.

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I was 33 and my husband was 36 when we decided that we’d like to start a family. We’d completed most things on our list of ‘things to do before you start a family’.  We had just agreed on an extension to the house when I found out I was pregnant. Not good timing! I couldn’t see a lot through my rose coloured glasses so just went along with everything. I knew I was ready to have a baby and, at 33, this was the decade it was going to happen so accepted it.

I watched baby programmes, saw lots of deliveries, which looked fine to be honest. Read magazines and kept track on how big baby was. Carried out lots of research on which pram to buy and what colour scheme I’d like in the nursery. I attended local antenatal classes at the hospital, which are a distant memory now but I remember them showing us around the delivery suite, which is such a good idea. We also talked about pain relief and still births. Never any mention of the emotional effects being pregnant, or a new mum, can have on you. Mind you, I know I wouldn’t have listened to this and thought it was a stupid idea to discuss because I wanted a baby and knew I was mentally ready so what else is there to talk about and consider?

To condense my story and avoid writing another book, my birth went nothing like the births I watched on television i.e two coughs and a push and ‘oh look you’ve got a baby’. I was induced, had a 27 hour labour and an emergency c-section. I was in shock but had to hit the ground running, whilst holding a baby and endure a blood transfusion. Not good.

I had terrible regrets about having a baby and, looking back, had Postnatal Depression, but no one picked up on this, which to this day I will always wonder how and why. Five months later my husband announced he was leaving me for someone else, someone he’d been having an affair with for eighteen months.

Bring the clock forward six years and I’ve got my life back on track and obtained my counselling diploma and am pushing hard to tell my story in Children’s Centres and hospitals.  If you feel so passionately about something and really think you could make an impact, then never give up. I didn’t and I now talk at three Children’s Centres, Newton Abbot, Ivybridge and Kingsbridge. I teach expectant parents the importance of preparing mentally for birth and provide them with their Plan B if things go wrong for them.

In April 2010 I was introduced to an editor, Kate Osborne of the Solarus Foundation. I had started to write bits and pieces as I had kept a diary when my husband left. I found it very cathartic and it removed the negative thoughts in my head and left some space in there for pleasant things instead of constant worries. I asked her to read some of the work I had done and she told me I just had to write a book as so many women would relate to it. I am so proud of my work. Sarah is a great character. She says what all us new mums are thinking but just can’t say because motherhood is what we wanted and why would we have any negative thoughts? She’s based on many people I know; some people ask if it’s based on my life because Sarah went through similar experiences to me; however, I have a fab imagination and decided that I needed an evil villain in the book so invented Chris, who turns into Voldermort at one point, but you’ll have to read the book to found out how and why!

Of course, there are some of my own experiences in there, but I will leave that to the readers to debate what these are. Sarah will resonate with so many mums and I thoroughly enjoyed developing her character, having listened to other women talk in cafe’s, restaurants, play centres etc. It’s amazing how much us mums open up in these places! She’s been on a life changing journey; Postnatal Depression, learning how to deal with the stigma that’s sometimes attached to being a single mum, become a counsellor, to name but three,  but the journey has only just begun for her. I’ve started her next adventure and once Netmums members have read Sarah’s story, I would be so interested to hear what they think she’ll be up to next!

Being Sarah Chilton is a book you can read in a short space of time. Sarah doesn’t make things sound pink and fluffy, she just says it, ready or not. The reader will chart her recovery from Postnatal Depression and she gives you tips on how to help yourself but to also accept yourself and how you are feeling. I’ve grown very fond of her and you should see what she’s going to do in book two!

Follow @BeingSarahChilt on Twitter

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Win….win…win

We have ten copies of Being Sarah Chilton to giveaway. Leave a comment on this blog and from all comments received by midnight on 31st May we will pick out ten lucky winners. We  read the book and couldn’t put it down – it’s just brilliant. It’s the kind of book you want to share with other mums and is well worth a read.