Single Mums – Exploding the Myths – Day 5

All this week Netmums have been featuring personal stories from single mums hoping to break the stereotypes that are so often played out in the media about them. To wrap up the week we’ve asked the very wonderful Ian from Single Parent Dad to give us a Dad’s perspective on ‘Being a hero’…

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I’ve no idea what it feels like to be a single mum.

My moobs don’t qualify me.

But I know what it feels like to be a single dad.

Image: Netmums

To be the sole parent in charge of a child.

And, in executive summary, I think it’s exhaustively brilliant.

Hard work rewarded gigantically by the relationship and bond formed with your child, but not often by perception at large.

Single mothers seem saddled with the social stigma of being lazy, a social nuisance and a creature our society would be better off without.

Single dads seem to be blessed with the social perception of being heroes, social champions and a part of society not celebrated nearly enough.

I’m being dramatic (perhaps I could be a woman), but I hope you get my general gist.

When I tell people I am a single dad, I feel immediate intrigue in my story.  People want to know how my situation came about, some ask, some don’t, but I don’t feel that folks are making an instant judgement and maybe a lazy assumption into how circumstances led to me becoming a single dad.

I don’t think it would be the same if I was wearing a dress.

Not that I’ve tried it.

I’ve witnessed the standoffishness of others to women that have dared to declare themselves single and to be bringing up children alone.

Now I’m not saying all single parents should be automatically revered, they’ll be some that are stinkers, just as there will be amongst the picture perfect 2.4 children family fraternity.

But a level of balance is needed, and automatic demonisation needs to go.

Last week I was invited onto Radio 4′s Woman’s Hour to talk about this very subject.  They wanted my opinion and take on the different ways the media in general portrays single mums versus that of how they treat single dads.

Rather ironically I turned down the opportunity as I’d already committed to going for a parent’s lunch with my son at his school.

As his sole parent, and like many others, this isn’t a responsibility I can hand off, as there simply isn’t another parent to hand them too.

And as much as I’d like to talk about this subject, and make my tiny contribution to turning the tide against single parents, my child comes first.

As they do for all good parents.

Regardless of circumstance, gender, class, shoe size or whether they have an embarrassing obsession with One Direction.

Parenting really should be that simple.

Fantastically wonderful hard graft.

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Ian is 34 and lives with his seven-year-old son, Max, in Staffordshire.  The pair like an adventure, putting things together and pretending to be Jedi Knights.

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Join In!

We’d love you to join in by showing your support to all single parents – visit our Busting the Myths page to see how you can take part. Visit our thread on the Netmums Coffeehouse to show your support.

BLOGGERS

• Add your blog to the Netmums Parent Bloggers Network
• Write your blog post using the tag ‘Single Parents’ so our Network picks it up
• Tweet a link to your blog to @netmums using #ExplodeTheMyths for a retweet
• Add a link to your blog post on the green ‘MisterLinky’ widget below

SINGLE PARENT SUPPORT

Visit Netmums to see all the help and support we have for you in our Single Parents section. Our Divorce and Separation section has lots of advice as well as our new online Separation Clinic where you can ask questions for our experts including a legal advisor, family mediator and a child maintenance options consultant.