Our Blog of the Week this week comes from Older Single Mum who offers us an insight into her daily Mum monologue.
The post is called ‘Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit’ and it sounds very, very familiar to us….
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‘No bouncing on the bed! How many times do I have to tell you?’ 
‘Again, it’s time to get dressed. Now, come on.’
‘Get yourselves dressed.’
‘If you don’t get dressed now, I’ll take you to the shops/ school/ out in your pyjamas.’
‘No, you can’t have chocolate before breakfast. You know that.’
‘Now sit straight at the table. No, don’t sit sideways. It twists your stomach.’
‘It’s what you asked for. Eat your breakfast nicely.’
‘No. Don’t hit your brother. Stop fighting. Be kind to each other. I’ve had enough already. Please. Stop winding each other up.’
‘Crikey. No, you can’t watch television, it’s time to leave.’
‘Hello? You’ve had all morning to play with your toys / train track / each other. Why choose now when we’re trying to get out of the house?’
‘Get your shoes on for the millionth time.’
‘Why is it such a struggle to ever leave?’
‘Which bit of ‘get your coat on’ didn’t you understand?’
‘No. I want Radio 2 on. I’m the driver, I’m in charge.’
‘No. All they play is that James Arthur.’
……………………………………………………..
‘That’s enough fighting with your brother. He loves you. No, I know it doesn’t look like it, but that’s his way of showing affection. He wants your attention.’
‘Stop annoying one another. ’Because you’re really annoying me.’
‘That’s it. I’ve had enough. For goddness sake why can’t you just play nicely? Loads of children would love half the toys you’ve got. Shall we give them away?’
‘What’s with all the noise?’
‘No you can’t watch television.’
‘There’s no need to shout. Why do you have to be so loud? STOP SHOUTING!’
‘OK. Put the television on and leave each other alone. Leave me alone. I’m having a glass of wine cooking dinner.’
‘That’s it. Sit to the table properly. No don’t kneel. Legs forward. Why do you have to sit like that? I don’t care how they let you eat at school. You’re not eating like that here.’
‘Be polite. Eat nicely. Yes, you do like it. You always like it. Yes, you can have pudding when you’ve eaten all your dinner. No, it’s not a race. Yes, fruit first, then pudding. You know the rules.’
‘Yes, you do have to do your homework. Yes, I know it’s a pain but it’s got to be done. No I won’t do it for you, but yes, of course, I’ll help you. We love problem solving / maths / Literature / English, don’t we?’ No, you can’t watch more television afterwards, you’ll get square eyes. No,you can’t do it while you eat your dinner. I don’t care that no-one else does it, you’ll get mummy into trouble if you don’t do it. We’ve spent longer arguing over you not doing it than it takes to actually do it.’
‘No, we can’t watch a film. It’s time for a bath. No, you can’t play with your toys / the computer / your brother now. You’ve had all evening to do that.’
‘OK. One of you out of the bath NOW. I don’t care which one. Whichever one of you hurt the other one first. Out.’
‘No bouncing on the bed!’
‘Night, night.’
Repeat ad infinitum, right? Roll on next week!
love it!
So glad!
Too true
That’s a relief!
That sounds just like my house!
Glad it’s not just me, then!
Lol…..I could have wrote this my self x
Glad you didn’t and I got there first and made Netmums Blog of the Week!
Fantastic……are you sure you didn’t bug my house!!!
If only! I wept with relief when I got the kids back to school and Nursery!
Sorry to say but I am glad it’s not just me! Misery loves company haha x
I know exactly what you mean!
HAHAHA This made me laugh out loud!! So very very true, and its a relief to know I am not the only one!!
Am really glad to see that!
Except that ‘no’ has no effect here, it could be my house too
I know you’re not supposed to say it – and reinforce positive stuff, which I do try to do, but sometimes it’s seems the only thing to say!
Oh God…that sounds like me but sometimes I do let slip the odd profanity….and reading it again, it sounds like my mother used to…arghhh
I left out the profanities because they are always whispered, but they are there, believe me!
Hahaha this is sooo funny and even more true, glad i’m not on my own!!
Glad you found it funny. As I’m living it, I think of so much more I could add!
Maybe you could record these things and the day will be less stressful”
I have thought about this myself, really, especially the meal time monologue!
Brilliant, love it
Great news, thanks.
Ha, I relate to far too much of this! Why does it take so long to leave the house and feel like “mission impossible”? And, why do they act like ants are in their pants at the dinner table!?
Glad we’re not alone
Yes, why? Indeed it is something I’m always thinking? Why? Why? Why?
Awesome post (even as a future dad to be) very understandable
For that reason I started this special nagging blog: http://www.mrnaggerscartoons.com
Thank you. What great drawings and a lovely idea. Will keep an eye on you! He’ll definitely have a lot to say when you become a Dad. Congratulations,