This weeks Blog of the Week is a tongue in cheek look at the men in our lives and the things they really should know by now… It’s by Deborah from The Clothes Line which is full of hilarious posts that you will find yourself chuckling along to.

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I appreciate this list is heavily stereotypical and gender biased. None the less I will fire ahead anyway. My husband has never ever done any of these things. I just made them all up in my head……..

1. A woman can mention many times how they  do not like Valentines Day.They can even write a blog post about the reality of Valentines Day when you are married, they still expect a Valentines Day card. A handmade card will suffice. If you live in a house with children ,chances are there are hundreds of crayons/markers/paints/colouring pencils and paper at your disposal. The same rule applies to Birthdays.

2. If you ask your wife “Would you like anything in the shop?” and her reply is “oh…..mmmmmmmm….I don’t know…..I probably shouldn’t” Then you should bring  something . You should not come back with nothing for her. If her reply is “a surprise”. You should also bring back something . Nothing is not a good surprise.

3. If you wife asks you “did you hear that noise?” when you are fast asleep at 3am in the morning, everybody will sleep better if your reply is “No I didn’t but I will immediately get up and check every room of the house to be sure”. Saying nothing, grunting or saying “No” is not the correct answer in this scenario.

4. In the middle of an argument it is not best practise to leave the house to clear your head. It is better to stay and finish the argument so it can be done with quicker.

5. Men and Women have different ideas of what nagging is. Simply asking a man 7 times are they sure they have done something is not nagging, it is the sign of a conscientious wife. Men should realise this.

6. Sometimes women are fully capable of using the remote control all by themselves. It is possible for men to relinquish it from their grasp.

7. Never ever call your wife the wrong name. Although If you absolutely have to, use a name of a woman who is not an ex, neighbour, friend, colleague. That makes it possible to get over quicker.

8. If you do call your wife the wrong name, the excuse of “I couldn’t remember your name” isn’t a great one.

9. Calling your wife the wrong name in bed is probably never forgivable.

10. Never ever ask your wife has she seen your shirt/trousers/sports gear etc. This implies your wife is fully responsible for the laundry and upkeep of your clothes. Even if your wife does the majority of the laundry, you should still never ask this question. You are clearly regressing back in time because the only occasion on which  it is acceptable for a male to ask a female this question, is a small boy asking his mother. Do not confuse your wife with your mother. You are a grown man.

11. If your wife cannot find anything to wear, you are probably best to leave the house. Quickly. You can not give the correct answer or opinion in this scenario. This situation is in fact Mission Impossible. Leave.

12. Nobody can ever win the “Sleep Wars” – Life with small children is exhausting. It doesn’t matter who does what, everybody is tired. Although there is strong scientific based evidence somewhere that mothers should get more sleep in’s. Fact ( ish).

13. There is never ever any point in starting conversations with “If this was the olden days”. Pointless. It is not the olden days. We have no way of knowing if life was indeed easier for men in the “olden days”. The end. However, If you think working longer hours, spending less time with your children and having a shorter life expectancy is easier ,maybe you are right and you would have been happier had you been born 80 years earlier.

14. It is OK for your wife to drive if you are out together. It is no reflection on the size of your manhood.

I hope this clears up some commonly misconstrued ideas and scenarios………

Have you anything to add to the list?