This weeks Blog of the Week is by eeh bah mum who asks the impossible question – ‘Is my son a dick?’.
We don’t think she’s actually serious but it had all of us laughing heartily all the same!
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Is it teething or the tights? Either way he’s not happy.
As a parent you quickly learn to interpret different screams – there’s the tired scream, the I would like some attention scream and then there’s the scream of your child in genuine pain. The one that turns your stomach. Thank God I have not had to hear that one very often from my daughter.
But my son does not follow these rules – he is the ultimate boy who cried wolf and will scream like a banshee for no apparent reason at all. He even does it in his sleep.
When you cannot find anything actually wrong with a crying baby it is chalked up to the catch all excuse of teething. Teething is brilliant – I have been using it as an excuse for my general incompetence for some time now. So far I’ve used it as an explanation for forgotten birthdays, having a spotty chin, wearing odd socks, missed appointments and a general level of slovenliness around the house.
But I don’t think my son cries because he is teething.
image: Netmums
We only really have his sister to compare him with and she was a very different baby. A few people I’ve spoken to about this have said boys are more needy than girls. I’m really not a fan of blaming things on gender it seems a bit harsh to tar the male population with one small child’s bad temper.
The third excuse I’ve heard is that it is behaviour typical of a second child trying to get a parents attention. But he’s breastfed and I’m with him all the time. How much attention does he want?
I have come to the conclusion that there’s a simple answer to his screaming fits.
My son is a dick.
Sorry to be so blunt but the writing has been on the wall for some time now. Eeh Bah Daughter’s nickname is bubbles, Eeh Bah Son’s only nickname is dick–douche (this has been adapted to DD after an unfortunate incident when his sister introduced him to prospective friends in the park).
His screaming doesn’t affect how much we love him, he totally gets away with such behaviour as he is a super cute baby caused minimal damage to my lady bits. My only hope is that he will grow out of it but I’d love to hear if anyone else thinks their offspring are dicks too.
Anyway must dash – I’m in the process of organising the kids bookshelf from least to most chewed. I’m calling it the Chewy Decimal System.
Sorry that was an awful joke i couldn’t help myself.
F*ckety F*ck… If he is a dick does he get it from me?
LOL. Actual LOl as well. With tea spitting and everything *mops screen* – You know it’s all your fault right?… http://muminthesouth.co.uk/2013/03/is-it-your-fault-your-child-is-naughty
Hahahaha! Brilliant blog! My second son was definitely a dick too- cried almost non stop for the first 7 months for no apparent reason- he was held, cuddled and generally loved at all times in a totally fruitless attempt to cheer him up. But take heart. Once he could crawl he started to perk up and he was talking fluently by age 2 so he could share his every thought/need. I promise he has turned into the chirpiest child in the world. Hope your DD is just getting it all out of his system early too. x
I know you are being tongue in cheek but kids pick up on any negativity. whenever I was stuck wondering what a baby was needing I would sit quietly with the baby in my lap and listen to him, not the crying just listening trying to work out what was wrong. could he be hungry?
Ha ha excellent, i have recently said to my boy at 13months ‘Grrr why are you being such a dick!’ as he was screaming in such a way and just wouldn’t ‘conform’ when I was changing his nappy!
He’s actually never like that, rarely plays up, only a handful of times and the dick incident was actually down to teething – 4 top teeth in fact, I just didn’t realise. He does have night terrors in his sleep – teething gel works for that as he wont wake up to be soothed, we use it regardless of teething or not and works a treat.
I cannot fault my precious little fella
even when I think he’s being a bit of a dick!
haha i love my son age 2 but we have nicknamed him “B” or “little b” it stands for a much longer word. this developed when he went from sleeping through to being up all night jumping on our faces or crying on the hour every hour because his dummy had fallen out of his mouth and was laying that all too far 3 inches from his face to reach! i love him to pieces an he actually answers to “b” as well as his own name now lol. when he grows up and has his own we will tell him what it stood for! hehehe
this is refreshingly funny
I laughed so hard at this because it resembles my life, my first – a boy is often being called a dick by my husband because of the way he manipulates us to try to get sweets and stay up past bedtime – it surprising how much of a dick a 2 year old can be. However second child a girl only 3 weeks old is already showing dickish behaviour so I can only conclude that it is genetic and has come from my husband as I am practically perfect in every way, so can’t be me!!
Haha hilarious! My son is the same and he’s is 3 now. And his dad often mutters ‘what a wee dick!’ Haha we lov him to the moon n back but I totally agree with ur blog!
Nah…I disagree with the above new age type response. Maybe he is just a dick. If so, he’s in good company. My son is a dick too. He still screams like a banshee and is 8. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it may well be a case of terminal dick-itus. Best cure is acceptance. They’re our little dicks, and we love them whatever
In contrast to the person above I NEVER learnt what my childrens cries meant.
I would sit there in baby group and a baby would start to cry and the mother would go of “Sophie needs a change of nappy, by her crying to sounds like a wee not a poo” and I would be WTF?!?!
When my children started crying I would just start on a list I had and work down hoping that one would work before I reached 10) Shut yourself in bathroom, phone husband in tears.
Now that made me laugh! love it!
Made me lol!!
This made me laugh so much! I’m pretty sure you’ve “listened” to your baby. In fact I’m pretty sure you’ve done everything you can to find out what’s wrong (not only to help him but to help your ears!) At the end of the day some babies are just plain awkward. Babies DO cry for no reason! They do! He most probably is (as you so lovingly put it) just being a Dick! Either way, I’m in no doubt that you love him as much as we all love our kids. Just nice to hear someone who admits their child is being an awkward so and so! Perhaps he will be the perfect toddler?
He might be crying as he feels insecure.
This made me laugh! So refreshing that a mum can be honest about these things and not pretend to be a model mum! Of course we dont love them any less but sometimes it can can be a case of we have to laugh about it otherwise we’d cry!
Wonderful to read. I too have an older daughter who now I realise was pretty easy going as a little one. My son on the other hand drives me bonkers – he sounds very like yours. Again, like yours he is adorable and we love him to bits. But whine – oh my goodness. Never ending….
I’m told boys are easier as they get older, and of course love their Mums! So here’s to the future!
is faydanamyjake a dick?
wow…
I have never been called a dick before. but I can confirm it does not make anyone feel loved or wanted and isn’t that what we want all our babies to feel?
I feel for u darling! i have twin boys and they r so so dufferent from each other! one is very independent, he would play on his own, do a little crawling and if i put him on the floor he would instantly get busy with himself and toys. where my other boy needs constant attention! he would want me to b with him ALL THE TIME, he would play for a bit with his brother but 10minutes seems enough for him to get bored of ANYTHING. i just can’t get him busy with anything! sometimes i have a feeling he is doing it on purpose just to piss me off or maybe he is so used to crying for no reason it just became his habit now… before i was telling myself it’s the colic – but when he was3.5months the colic stopped and he never had it since. Later my boys started teething, so i thought that’s what it is. But he just seems to get bored with everything very quickly and I very often have a feeling he is frustrated with his incapability of walking or even crawling as he only is 7months next week and constant lying on his back seems to upset him. to many it may look like i am talking crazy but I believe mothers have their instinct and from watching their child growing they can often tell what is bothering him/her. i am just waiting until they both learn to walk and then see if it changes anything at all. i am hoping for good changes! All the best to u, i wish u to find resolution to your problem soon!!
x x
try these with him propped up on a couple of breast feeding pillows
http://flyonthewallfay.com/2013/03/18/treasure-baskets-and-heuristic-play/
I had a needy baby boy now turned into needy toddler totaly get you. And mine hasn’t grown out of it yet….sorry to report! :-p
Brilliant and hilarious.
brilliant, I had a dick, but it turned out my DD was allergic to milk, so went from 100mph 24/7screaming to me phoning the doctor in a panic because he was “too quiet”. So I guess, ultimately, I was the dick, not him. Love the blog, hope the screaming stops soon. In the meantime, I find chocolate helps when my boys are still typical boys! xx
I’m on my 3rd now and still don’t always recognise cries! My 2nd (the girl) was the neediest AND she still is at 3 and a half! So refreshing to hear someone else laughing about it rather than crying or pretending everything’s rosy!!
Reblogged this on mummaclo's Blog.
My daughter was a dick too- Infact she is 13 and nothing has changed!!
my son thought his first name was aw for god sake.. lol
This is hilarious I actually thought you were describing my 2nd son, except he doesn’t scream like a banshee, he screeches, I mean proper ear piercing hair standing on end screeches. My eldest son has to cover his ears!! Oh and he likes to bang his head on the floor aswell……what a complete and utter Dick!!! I knew I should have called him Richard!! I also like to blame it all on teething, only a sharp tooth bursting out of your gums would cause a sound like that!!!
This is hilarious I actually thought you were talking about my 2nd sin, except he doesnt scream like a banshee he screeches! We are talking high pitched, ear piercing, neighbour waking screeching!! Even my eldest son, who can be a moany winge bag, puts his hands over his ears!!
I like to think he is just expressing himself as he can’t talk (17mths) and hope that very soon those words will just tumble out and the ear plugs can be surgically removed!
Oh and he liked to bang his head too….
The more I think about it……a real Dick!!!
Ha ha I obviously meant 2nd son not sin!! Gotta love typos!!
Funny, thank you !
It feels a bit mean of me to be happy that there are other mums in a similar situation but thanks ladies! Personally I’m hoping for some karmic balance and that our ‘difficult’ babies grow into pleasant, well adjusted teenagers….
I have a daughter who is 6 now and she is a dick too. Granted she’s more advanced than her siblings and she looks like butter wouldn’t melt, check asda nappies size 6 if you don’t believe me but my goodness she winds the hell out of me from morning til night. Everything makes her cry and she’s super needy too. I pray that she chills out when she grows up or she will be one high maintenance lady. However I am still very proud and love her almost as much as my other …..lol
I have a 6 years ok dick too. She is very forward and everyone tells me how clever she is and that’s great but give me an average kid who’s not so whiney any day. The other 2 are so much more chilled out it’s hard to believe they are related, they are though, I checked. She is nevery happy and is always crying about something. She looks like an angel, she is even on asda nappies for goodness sake but god she is horrific, everything upsets her and cries on average about 15 times a day. Everyday. It’s exhausting and I fail to have sympathy. She was a needy baby and toddler even though she was walking and talking early. It’s not a good thing. I just pray that she will chill out when she’s older or she will be a high maintenance cow. I love her though, almost as much as my other two lol
Is your son a dick? of course he is…he’s a man. They all become dicks sooner or later
x
However I am still very proud and love her almost as much as my other …..lol